Planning for your own funeral isn’t something that comes naturally. While people understand logically that discussing death won’t hasten it, there’s something about the idea of our own mortality that means we often put off planning our funeral for as long as possible – or ignore the idea of planning it entirely.

For those of us who have decided to consider making arrangements ahead of time, there can be some confusion about the best way to proceed. Two common options offered by funeral directors around Australia are pre-planned and pre-paid funerals. While similar, these two options differ in some significant ways.

A pre-planned funeral is just what it sounds like; in discussion with a trusted funeral director, a pre-planned funeral allows us to decide on the specific arrangements we would like for our funeral service. Music, flowers, venue, vehicles – all of these things can be decided on and planned with the help of an industry professional.

Pre-planning is a great option to ensure families are clear on what our wishes are for the end of our lives. One thing worth noting, however, is that since no payments have been made or contracts signed, there are some associated risks. For example, family members may decide on different arrangements than the ones you have chosen for yourself. Additionally, prices may have risen significantly over time, meaning your chosen service may be a lot more expensive than originally planned.

Pre-paid funerals go a long way to minimising any of these concerns. Just like a pre-planned funeral, all applicable arrangements can be organised in advance with your local funeral director. On top of this, by paying for the funeral service in advance, all costs can be locked in at today’s prices; this is a great way to avoid decades of potential price inflation. As a binding contract has been signed, you also have the peace of mind that comes with knowing that all your funeral arrangements have been formally agreed on – and paid for.

Ultimately, if you’re considering planning for your funeral in advance, you’re already ahead of the game. Consider speaking to your local funeral director to find out more about your options.

It’s not unusual behaviour avoid embracing end of life discussions.

While it can be darn right uncomfortable to think about death,  what’s scarier is broaching the topic with the ones we love.

Yet at the same time planning ahead can prove not only cathartic but more importantly it provides the opportunity to relive many stories about our lives, stories that are not only important to you but could prove invaluable to the ones we leave behind.

Too often because we don’t take the time to share some of these memories our loved ones are left wondering which stories from our lives are the best anecdotes to share at a funeral service.

A funeral service is meant to be a celebration of one’s life so if your past sporting achievements or perhaps the years you spent slogging away at work are not the characteristics you want to be remembered for, then how are your loved ones expected to know unless you have that important discussion with them?

Think about your life as a series of short stories and take the time to share some of these with the ones you love.

“You are the best author of your life’s little stories so make the time to share these with others.”

At 60 years of age I never thought that much about my own inevitable demise – that was until my younger brother passed away.

Losing David was a shock, and it also proved to be a rude wake up call for myself.

What followed during the next week was the mandatory doctor’s appointment and the requisite blood tests as well as the gym membership that I had avoided for far too long.

But probably the hardest thing to confront was “that” discussion I had with my own children.

The loss of my brother and the way that we said our farewells at his funeral service didn’t quite do it for me. I know David’s family were emotionally distraught and had sought my help in organising his funeral, but they struggled in dealing with all the questions that were thrown at them. It wasn’t the funeral directors fault.  David’s children just weren’t prepared for the process. And because of this I felt that we somehow short changed the one opportunity we had to celebrate my brother’s life.

As ironic as it was, only a week before David passed away, the two of us went to one of those retirement expos and as we passed a stand that was promoting pre-paid funerals. I still recall David laughingly calling out to the funeral director “No…I’m not ready yet”

And I guess that’s so true for all of us. However David’s words, and his subsequent funeral jolted me into realising that for the sake of my own children I owed them the respect to at least share with them some of my thoughts on how I wanted to be remembered.

So at our next family meal, over a bottle or two of my finest red wine I shared with my kids how I wanted my life to be celebrated. I still remember there were a few tears but more laughs and I know as tough as it was by the end of the night we all appreciated having that tough conversation.

“Discussions about one’s future demise are never easy to have but for the sake of those left behind they will appreciate your guidance.”

December, 2016

Foresters Financial is very pleased to announce the appointment of Mr Craig Bell as our new Chief Executive Officer.

Craig is a Fellow of CPA Australia (FCPA) and a Member of the Australian Institute of Company Directors. Prior to his role with Foresters Financial, Craig was the Chief Financial Officer at the Victorian Chamber of Commerce and Industry where he was responsible for Finance, IT, HR, Project Management, Investments and Governance. Craig is also a director of the Lord Mayor’s Charitable Foundation and Chair of the Audit & Risk Committee.

Craig has over 25 years’ experience in Finance and ICT, having held senior positions across a number of sectors. This includes roles in top tier investment firms in London at Lloyds Bank TSB, Salomon Smith Barney and J.P. Morgan, and in Melbourne at ANZ, NAB and Chimaera Capital, along with various financial positions in the Victorian and South Australian State Governments.

Bringing significant talent and experience to the Society, Craig is well placed to help Foresters continue to address the needs of our members and industry partners.

Although it is now more than 5 years since my Mother passed away I still find it very difficult to forget her funeral.

It wasn’t the fact that Mum had left us, or that her death was sudden; Mum had been suffering for some years and at 87 her body had just broken down. Married for 66 years, with four children and numerous grand and great grand children Mum had led a very full life.

The fact that still haunts me however is that I don’t believe her funeral did her justice.

It wasn’t the funeral directors fault as they did a great job. It wasn’t the words that were spoken during the service as they were heartfelt, and captured Mums life and made us all laugh and cry at the same time.

The fault lay in the fact that Mum hadn’t documented anything. Sure we knew she wanted to be cremated but unfortunately, neither my Father nor my siblings could agree on the music to be played or versus to be read. Little things you may say.

At the end of the day the funeral went off without a hitch. The eulogies were touching…..and naturally I struggled to get through the story I wanted to share about my Mother.

But I’ll never forget the pieces of music that were chosen or the versus that the Minister had selected. I thought they were both far too sombre and not reflective of my Mother’s personality. At 88 years of age my Father had lost his lifetime partner, his soul mate and he just wanted the funeral over and done with.

But I cared. I wanted to remember my Mother and her funeral.

If only I had made more of an effort to get Mum to talk about what she wanted and how she wanted to be remembered.

“Take the time to jot down how you want to be remembered, because it’s those little things that count.”

 

We had just stepped out of the chapel having sat through the funeral service of my late Uncle Peter when my wife turned to me and said, ”I didn’t realise that Peter had once taught in New Guinea.”

As innocent as this comment was it made me think about my own life’s history.

Were my family aware of some of my past achievements? Did they know about my highs and my lows and the things that were in fact very important to me?

I decided then and there that I needed to do something about it, particularly while I still had all my faculties!

It wasn’t the easiest of tasks I had ever undertaken not to mention the conflicting thoughts running through my head.

Was I being overly morbid…was I just being selfish and egotistical? Or in fact was taking the time to document my wishes an invaluable gift to leave for my loved ones?

It then dawned on me that organising a funeral really needed someone who had the skills of an event manager. Gone are the days when funerals are sombre and sad. Sure there are still all the mandatory questions that families have to answer but at the end of the day funerals are more a celebration of one’s life.

I always did enjoy a good party so if it was my life they were going to celebrate than I certainly thought I better put in my two cents worth.

“By documenting your wishes you can ensure that your life is celebrated just the way you want it to be remembered.”

I always say that the best party you can attend has to be a wedding.

I’ve never been to a bad one and I always look forward to the next one.

But having been involved in organising my own two children’s nuptials not to mention my own, the one thing that I will always remember were the heightened emotions that seem to go hand in hand with a wedding.

And the same can be said with a funeral.

Whether it’s the fact that both events intensify our emotions or the fact that entire families now find themselves forced to bear the company of relatives whom they had previously successfully avoided, that triggers it, but whatever the case, certainly these events can result in unwanted family conflicts bubbling to the surface.

The say in life that there are two things you can’t avoid, these being death and taxes. Well, I’ll add a third – family disputes.

In the case of a recently departed relative, because we all care so much we also feel we have lost a part of ourselves and so we feel obligated and in fact desperate to do the right thing. Most times this is done for the right reasons but sometimes it can also be done for the wrong or even selfish reasons. And then there can be other times when because of our own ignorance or the lack of information, misunderstandings and/or mistakes can occur simply because we honestly believe that what we are proposing is what our departed loved one would have wanted.

Whatever the case, documenting your funeral wishes in advance proves time and time again to be the best means to manage and eradicate some of these potential future family disputes. At the very least consider some of the areas of the funeral service which may lend themselves to possible misunderstanding and try and answer those questions now.

Only after you have taken the time to clarify what you really want can you be sure that your funeral will be one to be remembered, and for all the right reasons!

“By documenting your wishes you can help avert potential family misunderstandings.”

My brother-in-law’s name was Ian.

Ian was only 66 years old when, out of the blue, he suffered a fatal heart attack. While it was certainly true that he had a family history of heart problems it didn’t change the fact that his sudden death was a big shock to us all.

At the time I will never forget helping my big sister organise her husband’s funeral.

It wasn’t as if I hadn’t arranged a funeral before, because in fact I had. Some ten years ago I was heavily involved after my own parents tragically passed away. What surprised me however were the many things that had changed in the past decade and the new things being offered that needed to be considered.

While it was a sad time for my family, I was actually quite amazed at all the options that were available when it came time to celebrate the life of a loved one.

For example, there were all manner and forms of jewellery that were now available that would have enabled us to each hold a portion of Ian’s ashes and so a lasting memory of him. There was even the option of having his body cryogenically preserved. Whilst that certainly didn’t appeal to my sister, nor the option of having his ashes embedded into a rocket and scattered into space, what did interest her was having Ian’s ashes turned into a precious gemstone!

As strange or even morbid as some may perceive this to be, Ian now sits proudly on the index finger of my sister’s right hand.

I am sure this may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but at the time it suited my sister’s needs and as we sometimes irreverently remark behind her back – at the very least she can now certainly keep a finger on Ian’s every movement!

“Consider the various funeral service options that are now available to  help celebrate one’s life.”