Although it is now more than 5 years since my Mother passed away I still find it very difficult to forget her funeral.
It wasn’t the fact that Mum had left us, or that her death was sudden; Mum had been suffering for some years and at 87 her body had just broken down. Married for 66 years, with four children and numerous grand and great grand children Mum had led a very full life.
The fact that still haunts me however is that I don’t believe her funeral did her justice.
It wasn’t the funeral directors fault as they did a great job. It wasn’t the words that were spoken during the service as they were heartfelt, and captured Mums life and made us all laugh and cry at the same time.
The fault lay in the fact that Mum hadn’t documented anything. Sure we knew she wanted to be cremated but unfortunately, neither my Father nor my siblings could agree on the music to be played or versus to be read. Little things you may say.
At the end of the day the funeral went off without a hitch. The eulogies were touching…..and naturally I struggled to get through the story I wanted to share about my Mother.
But I’ll never forget the pieces of music that were chosen or the versus that the Minister had selected. I thought they were both far too sombre and not reflective of my Mother’s personality. At 88 years of age my Father had lost his lifetime partner, his soul mate and he just wanted the funeral over and done with.
But I cared. I wanted to remember my Mother and her funeral.
If only I had made more of an effort to get Mum to talk about what she wanted and how she wanted to be remembered.
“Take the time to jot down how you want to be remembered, because it’s those little things that count.”